Beat your Katraj blues

Yes, here's a toast to all those who've experienced hell on earth - the Katrajians! Okay fine, Katrajkars. (When in Rome..) And a special one to those who have been unfortunate enough to actually study here - your situation makes Constantine's hell look like a theme park!

Anyways whenever you feel like the devil has pinched your bottom for the umpteenth time.. its always nice to know that there is an Oasis where you can drown your sorrows at least for a little while..

Yeah, it is none other than.. Katraj Ghats!!

No, that's not Ooty, can you believe it - this is actually the extension of Katraj. Doesn't it look serene? Yes my friends, there IS an invisible line between Heaven and Hell, and believe it or not, it does have a name! It's called the Pune Municipal Corporation Jurisdiction Line.

Some more eye candy..

These were taken on a trek a friend and I ventured on one rainy day (quite literally). And about how it felt - the pictures tell it all, really.

Camel Falls. Named after the well liked Turkish exports.

You can really re-discover yourself at a place like this!

Er.. not to put a dampener or anything.. but this kind of scenery exists only in the monsoon. So in all the other seasons all you can expect to see is dry, arid land. It might not lighten your mood so much, but what the hell - carry along some like minded buddies and your tried and trusted friend Romanov, and you are back to planet Paradise!

A Tribute to Axl Rose

Many thanks to "Fla$h" for help with this one

Road Trip!

Yesterday I had the good fortune of going on a small 1 day bike trip to Mulshi Dam, about 70 kms from Pune city proper. Needless to say, Mulshi is a great place whichever time of the year - always enough water around - and the numerous dhabas are affordable and provide you with a memorable rustic ambiance. Just - don't trust the local petrol or alcohol!

I had a great time. It was the perfect weekend break, along with great friends, good food and good amounts of decent whisky. We went to a quaint little place a hike away from the lake - and also managed the quintessential swim in the waters.

But what really stood out was the ride. And WHAT a ride. Once you get out of city limits (beyond Chandini Chowk) you are greeted with very smooth stretches of asphalt - I didn't encounter a single pothole! I'm even willing to bet my money that the PMC had nothing to do with construction/maintenance of this area.

And that made my day. Minimal traffic even on a Sunday.. and being a thoroughly capable bike the Bajaj Pulsar, I couldn't stop myself from zooming away. My two other friends were on an Apache and since I knew there was no way they could keep up with me, I had pre-decided to take it easy - but the road just beckoned me and my bike into taking it to the extreme. And thus, once again I experienced the familiar adrenaline rush, 90kmph average speeds, peg-scraping turns, and inner peace. I was instantly reminded of the following words, which I think came in a recent Outlook magazine: "I'd rather be on a motorcycle thinking about God than in a church thinking about my motorcycle". Needless to say one should be thinking about God in church anyways - or maybe of the countless sins you committed; but that's for another day.

Yesterday, was for riding. And experiencing the freedom a bike gives you. Sometimes it's like flying, you know. Your eyes are constantly on the road and you have to be acutely aware of the motorcycle dynamics going on under you. All the time the wind hits you making you more aware of how fast you are going. It's like - you and your machine are just going so fast it's unnatural - and that is how it feels.

Highway to Hell

I travel via the Pune-Satara Road almost everyday. It starts from Swargate, a bottleneck of a major bus stop and extends to the outer city limits somewhere in Katraj where it miraculously transforms into the Pune-Satara Highway. In between, there are wide stretches of tarmac separated by a single deadly turn (Swami Vivekananda Junction, apparently), and of course the omnipresent potholes here and there.

Pune Satara Road - Before the BRT

There is a signal which takes you to a certain semi-urban area called Dhankawadi. Locals may scroll down to avoid painful reminders of riding in this motorway. To the uninitiated, the Balaji Nagar - Dhankawadi stretch is the most chaotic road in this side of the city. The road itself is narrow due to shop encroachments. People hover around like flies over a carcass giving two hoots about their own lives. But the traffic - ah! There is a certain enigma - an ether if you will - nay a force, oh Jedi, which takes over all drivers and transforms them into.. "Survival Beast Mode"!

Commandments of the Survival Beast Mode

1. Race.
   
2. This is a highway. Fuck the idiots trying to cross the road. Honk, Flash lights, and nearly miss the illiterate fools who litter the road.
3. Thou shalt overtake from whichever side possible.
4. On hitting anyone (which is imminent) - RUN.
   

Of course, Yours truly has had his share of incidents on his trusted steed - but never stooped so low as to fall down in this hell-hole. I have been hit by two scooters (yeah i know, its never the fault of the narrator, but the scoots did hit me). Needless to say those fuck-all machines didn't stand a chance. I didn't stay too long either for a mob to come attack me and my machine.

The thing is, this is a stretch of complete lawlessness. Add to that the presence of a University in the vicinity housing about 10 odd colleges - I've seen my share of accidents as a doc. Everyday.

Recently the brilliant PMC decided to introduce the BRT - Bus Rapid Transit system to the country. And the prototype: none other than the Highway to Hell.
To the uninitiated, the BRT is a separate lane on the road, in the centre, meant exclusively for Public Buses.

This was the brainchild of a special team (corporators) who went to Bogotá and some other places abroad - and considered this the solution to Pune's traffic woes. Narrow down the already small roads and dump more signals on them.

I cannot appear to give an unbiased opinion because there is nothing in this madness. In 2 months more than 4 people have died on the road (due to the BRT; as such it is a death zone as mentioned) and others have died in the adjoining road - including a friend of mine who was run over by a truck plying on a tributary.

Avoiding this main road is out of the question. There is one solution to staying alive in Katraj. Pray.

A day in my hospital

An advantage of working in the lower rungs of the medical hierarchy is that one is constantly exposed to bumbling idiots. It is easy to screw up in the medical profession be it a doctor or a ward boy; because there is a minimum prerequisite that applies to everyone here - and that is Common Sense.

And Common Sense, my friends, or rather the lack of it is what makes life in my clinic so enjoyable.

Case 1.
Lipoma Excision

And so one fine day, towards the end of my 2 month Surgical Rotation, I was called to assist a Senior Resident in the Excision of a Lipoma ( a lump of fat). So, being the jolly good intern that I was (those were the infancy days, the last of the few that I thought I'd actually continue being a Doctor) - I washed my hands (scrubbed? in the Minor OT? Ha- that one's for the Dettol ads) put on a pair of gloves (I trust the autoclave as much as the roadside samosa-wallah) and started assisting.

The SR, the bumbling idiot that he was kept on fucking around with the Local Anaesthesia and incision. Pretty soon we got used to the groans and cries of the patient who was either having a curious resistance to the effect of Lignocaine or was just being treated by a couple of idiots.

Towards the end of the bloody ordeal, we noticed that the patient was silent for a while. The doc then told him "Baba, only a few minutes remaining, don't worry". No answer. "Baba.. did you hear me? It's almost done" No answer. "Baba!" Now even I was getting worried. What the fuck is going on? I shook him and asked "Baba!!" He's suddenly awake now - "Huh?? What? My name is not Baba!"

Well. If you didn't find that funny, the story is not yet over, dumbass. The bumbling fool had left a bit of the lump in the patients neck and overlooked to remove it before stitching him up. He noticed it - he saw that even I could notice it - and then to Baba "Uhh.. Look here, this kind of lump has a tendency to re-appear, so.. you might need to come back after 6 months."

Greetings, Citizens

Well friends, this is a post where I am supposed to say Hi and tell you why the fuck I am writing something which in all probability noone is going to want to read; but all you really need to know at this stage is: "Welcome to my World!"